Mines-weeper or Mine-sweeper!

People often say that life is like a game of chess but I was never good at chess and may be therefore, I never understood it. But, recently I started playing minesweeper and it was then when I realized that life can be thought of as a game of minesweeper. The main aim of our life is to overcome obstacles and move ahead, which is so much similar to the objective of the game – you have to find all the mines in the least possible time to win. Sometimes we are not able to flag all those mines, sometimes we have to choose from two possible options and sometimes we lose because of our carelessness.

Like the different stages of life, the game also has 3 stages, for the beginners, intermediates and the experts. The confidence to go to the next level comes only when you have passed the previous level with distinction. :D

Sometimes it becomes frustrating to start all over again because of just one mistake but as it is said that there are chances which can either make you or break you.

I personally feel that the person who invented this game must have been an optimist. Every time you flag a mine, you gain a moment of joy. Every mine signs an achievement. You may not always be able to solve all the problems you face in your life but even if you are able to figure out a few, then that calls for a celebration. The difficulties keep on increasing in our life. Every time we think that this is the hardest possible situation but we do not know what awaits us in the future. The problems increase but so do our patience, our zeal and our enthusiasm to tackle them. One thing that I like about this game is that we always compete with ourselves. We try to break our best records. This game is free from the pity policies of the world where you try to degrade others. This game teaches us to rise every time we fall. But, the most important thing is how it teaches us to rise – by clicking the smiley. Similarly, every time we start again, we should start with a confident smile on our face and the thought “I will do it this time” in our mind.

Everything has positive and negative aspects. It is up to you whether you are scared of the problems or whether you enjoy tackling them, i.e. whether you are gonna weep over the mines or sweep them. ;)

Ps – the credit of the thought goes my internship where minesweeper was my best friend, the only one who was always there for me in my smiles, sorrows and boredom. :’)

Pps – this post is only for those who have used windows xp. :P

Signing off

Metro station at 6 am

All of us have traveled by metro sometime or the other. I am sure everyone must have seen the rush,the noise and the crowd at the metro stations...

Metro comes, metro goes
people enter and have to stand on toes
With no seat and no space
you can't even locate your own face
This is the general trend
where lines and people do not end.. :/

But, at 6 am, the metro station is not the same...it looks like a totally different place..

Today, at six in the morning
i am here
quite early though
but going somewhere
But, it looks like i am in a different nation
as it is not the normal Indian metro station

With no line and no que
its just a fantastic view
No race for that single seat
as seats are more but less feet

Oh, it gives so much peace
as this journey was covered with so much ease
and now, after these few minutes of relaxation
i have finally reached my destination.. :)

The End or the Beginning..

Day 7

I touched the ‘send’ button and the message was sent. Due to anxiety or fear or whatever you call it, I was scared of reading her reply, so, I put my phone on silent and slept.

I woke up early the next morning. I must admit in the last few days I didn’t sleep much and how could someone sleep when a pretty girl keeps him awake!

Anyways, the phone was just a few cm away, gathering all courage I picked it up but there was no message. I was not disappointed rather shocked! At least I was expecting a no. Even the titillating wallpaper of ‘Deepika Padukone’ didn’t improve my mood. There I was, in my bed, feeling just like a lost warrior, with no hopes left. I didn’t bother to get up from my bed. I thought of sending another message but then decided against it.

After the ‘depression’ session of about 30 minutes, my phone beeped. I instantly checked the message. It was from her and the contents of the message finally brought a smile to my face. It read-

Hey. Sorry, I refused to meet you. I myself wanna meet you before going and I’ll try my best to meet you. :)

I immediately got up given the fact I had to get ready and also think of a decent, unique and original proposal. But, before that, I replied-

That’s great. Thank you. I won’t take much of your time. ;) 

I waited around 5 minutes but with the decreasing chances of getting a reply, I left to get ready. All the time, I kept thinking on what to say and how to say? First, I thought of writing a poem expressing my feelings and put it in her letter box with a rose but the thought of her father finding it scared the shit out of me. Finally, being unable to come up with an idea, I sat down, took a paper and penned the following lines:

Hi. You remember you once asked me about my blog, I changed the topic then. Well, here’s the link to the blog- www.ankurgspeaks.blogspot.com . I have written a short story, I hope you’ll like it.

PS: Please turn this page only after you read all the previous chapters of the story.

Actually, I am stuck on its climax . I guess you might help me. I hope that you must have read all the 'episodes', please read the last chapter which is as follows-

"Finally, as the time of her leaving the city was approaching, my heartbeats were increasing. I went to the terrace. Waited for around 5-10 minutes and finally decided to message her- ‘Hey. Can you please come to the terrace for 5 minutes?’ She arrived looking more beautiful than she ever did. As she arrived closer, the nervousness in me reached new levels.

But with some courage I said, ‘ hi’.

‘hii’,she said. Oooh…that sweet voice. For a moment, I was lost but I recomposed myself.

‘So, you wanted to see me?’, she asked in the sweetest possible way.

‘Yeah, just to give you this’, I said presenting two Cadbury dairy milks(Girls love dairy milks.. ;) ) and added,’ koi shubh kaam krne se pehle kuch meetha kha  lena chahiye…all the best for your college’.

‘Aww…thank you so much for wishing me such a sweet beginning’, she said.

‘Btw, I need a favour ’, I said and presented the letter containing my ‘last episode’.

On reading that, she replied,’                                                                        '. "

I just want you to write the reply coz I just don’t know what she feels for me. :) 

I finished writing this letter making sure that my writing was clear enough so that she can read it properly. Got up and went to the market to buy two cadburys.

Finally, after coming back, I paced up to the terrace and messaged her- ‘Hey. Can you please come to the terrace for 5 minutes?’. She arrived looking more beautiful than she ever did. As she came closer, the nervousness in me reached new levels. 

But with some courage I said, ‘ hi’.

‘hii’,she said. Oooh…that sweet voice. For a moment, I was lost but I recomposed myself.

‘So, only 5 minutes, huh?’, she asked in the sweetest possible way.

‘Yeah, just to give you this’, I said presenting two Cadbury dairy milks and added,’ koi shubh kaam krne se pehle kuch meetha kha  lena chahiye…all the best for your college’.

‘Aww...thank you so much’, she said with the sweetest smile ever. :)

As she saw the letter in my hand, her eyebrows went up and she asked,'A love letter?'

I could have sworn that I saw a hint of smile on her face and with that I presented her the letter and said,' A love letter? Nah..just need a favour.'

'Favour? As in?', she looked a bit confused.

‘Yep. Read this and you’ll understand’, I said with a smile while my heart was beating louder and louder.

She was just gonna open it when I said, 'No no, not now. Read it when you are free.' 

We talked a bit and I bid her good bye and she left and before she vanished, I heard her voice one last time for the next few months probably,’ thank you very much for such a sweet beginning’ and she disappeared.

Later that evening, I came to the terrace. It looked totally different but it was the only place which probably understood me, my feelings. With the ‘Hale dil’ playing through my earphones and the its lyrics totally befitting my situation..

Aye kaash, kaash yun hota

Har sham, sath toh hota

Chup chap, dil na yun rota

Har sham, sath tu hota..

P.S: 1- Sorry. This one got a bit too late.
        2- I thank you for staying tuned and reading this. :)
        3- Probably, this one's the last episode of this series unless I get the reply. ;)
        4- Thank you for your likes and comments. :)

Heads or Tails..!

Day 6

So, the Sunday arrived. I woke up quite early again. Also, today, I had to decide whether I should propose to her or not? With around 2 months spent in dreaming, today was my last chance to make it a reality. We had been talking quite a lot in the last few days (as all of you know ;) ) but still you can never be sure of what’s going on in a girl’s mind. Actually, I wasn’t even sure of my own mind. Several thoughts surrounded my brain. I had been running away from commitments always and now, am I ready to commit? What will happen if she rejects the proposal?(or even if she accepts it?) Is it the right time to propose her?

Unable to come to an answer, finally, I took out a coin.

‘If its heads, then, I’ll propose her’, I thought and flipped the coin. With every turn that the coin took in the air, I could feel my heartbeat rise. Finally, it came to rest on the dusty floor of my room. After removing the dust of its surface, finally I was able to see the’ three lions’. After this, I was even more confused but still since it was ‘heads’, so decided to give it a try.

The next big question now was how to propose? The first idea that came to my mind was GOOGLE. I opened my pc and ‘googled’ different innovative ways of proposals but nothing seemed to attract my mind. I shut down my pc and started thinking. The thoughts of different Bollywood movies came to my mind (Hollywood too!) but one can’t really trust these movies. Can we?

Whole day passed like this. In the evening as usual I was leaving for the terrace but today with some changes. With gel replacing the normal oil on my hair, with decent clothes on and without spectacles (obviously, what if my specs broke before my heart does? ;) ) . Obviously, I wasn’t looking like Shahid Kapoor but still I was looking decent :) . Just when I was going to leave, my father stopped me.

Papa : Where are you going?

Me : Nowhere, just to the terrace.

Papa(bit excited) : What will you get on the terrace? Lets go shopping. Since its Sunday, I m free today.

Me(thinking) : How can explain I him that its not ‘what’, its ‘who’..!

Me(in a polite manner) : I don’t want anything. Maybe you all can go.

Papa(bit disappointed) : For the past whole week, you said you need this, you need that. Now, you are saying you don’t need anything!

Me(thinking) : arre yar, papa toh senti ho gye, now how to explain him that I have to propose a girl!

Me(in a persuasive tone) : don’t worry, I’ll take whatever I want from delhi.

Papa(in normal tone) : nahi, we will go today.

Me(almost begging) : arre mujhe kuch ni chahiye, koi zarurat ni h jaane ki..

This went on for a while. My father too doesn’t like shopping but I don’t know what happened to him that day. I tried everything but no excuse worked. I even did some drama but nothing worked on him. Finally, I had to agree and go for SHOPPING. Shopping, the activity which I never liked, became my worst enemy that day. From that day onwards, shopping is the thing which I hate the most.

There I was amidst all the popular brands of the world, ‘kms’ away from the girl which I liked the most. :(

I thought she might be waiting at the terrace at least I should apologize for not coming. I took out my cell and typed the message-

Sorry, won’t be able to come, my family took me for shoppin.. :(

An instant later, my phone beeped. The message was from Ridhima. It read-

Ohh :( never mind…I’ll alone enjoy my self thrown farewell party… :)

This message further increased my disappointment as the word ‘farewell’ hit my heart hard, really really hard. ‘Maybe I won’t see her now for the next two-three months, maybe the story has finally ended’, such thoughts circulated my mind.

The shopping spree ended after two continuous, vigorous and tiring hours. I just can’t understand how can someone like shopping? Just keep roaming from shops to shops, keep trying clothes and other things, how can someone like such a lame and ‘expensive’ activity!!

We were home by 9. After my family slept, I was glued to my 15 inch pc screen. She was ONLINE. 

‘aaj toh maine akele hi farewell mana li..”, she said.

I apologized for not coming and after a while I asked,’ can we meet tomorrow?’

I knew this was long shot. She had a train to catch at 5, she was leaving her home for college, then, why would she meet a guy whom she met just 7 days ago. But still I had hopes until they were shattered by her reply,’ sorry, I don’t think I’ll b able to come’. 

I tried to push a bit but she was adamant about her decision. And finally, she bid me farewell and left. :(

Hey…wait, by left, I meant she logged out of her facebook account. ;)

At 3 am, I typed a message-

Hey…you’ll be leaving tomorrow….i wanna meet you once before you leave…waiting for your reply..

“Bhagwan…itni help ki h..thodi aur kr dena”, I prayed and pressed the send button(not pressed just touched, I have a touch-phone :D )

P.S-

- its really nice that you people are still reading this. Thank you my readers. You are my biggest motivaters. J

- the reference to Shahid Kapoor was because he’s fav of some1 special.. ;)

- and stay tuned…. J

- and your likes and comments are whole heartedly welcome.. :D

Standing at the crossroads...

Day 4, 11:55 pm

Waiting, waiting and waiting.

Finally, I closed my pc and went to bed but I couldn’t sleep. As always, she was in my every thought. I tried not to think of her but that was just impossible. I tried everything to shut my eyes (obviously except sleeping pills!!) but nothing came to my rescue.

Day 5, 12:30 am

So, after every futile attempt to sleep, I again opened facebook and kept on waiting. Though fb chat was already screwed up but it looked worse without her name in the online friends.

Another hour passed. And now, with each passing second, I was becoming more and more restless. I had her phone no after the ‘tt’ incident and I thought that prolly I should message her but then, she was not my girlfriend, so, I decided against it.

Finally, at around 2, she appeared online. 

‘You are coming online now!!’, I said though I was much relieved that finally she’s online and now I sort of thought what kind of silly question I had asked.

‘Yeah, bit busy in packing and all, so, you tell wassup?’

Whenever I thought of her going away in just two days, I became upset. But anyways, I replied,’ nothing much, just usual fb and stuff ;) ‘. Though I wanted to tell her how much I liked her and that I had been waiting for her for the past three hours..!!

‘btw ‘zindagi na milegi dobara’ got released today, any plan to see it?’, I asked.

‘annn, there was one but it got cancelled :( and I wanna see znmd..’, she said.

I tried to imagine the expressions on her face as she typed that last sentence. Anyways, I said,’ yeah..me too, so lets go tomorrow ;) ‘though I knew that this was almost impossible. I mean when a girl is about to leave her home in two days, obviously, she wouldn’t go. Had it been some other time, she prolly might have agreed. Yar, ab itna bura bh ni hun.. ;)

‘annn….’, was the reply.

‘Well, if you think I am a stranger, then, hi, I am Ankur. Now, you know me. ;) ‘, I tried to sound a bit witty.

‘ya ya, sure but I don’t know the show timings ;)’, she replied.

Neither did I. But, still I said,’ aap han toh kijiye, timings abhi bta dete hn ;) ‘

‘yes’, she said.

I knew that she was joking but still, I first searched the nearest movie hall near our apartments and then searched the show timings. It wasn’t that hard. Google always helps. :)

‘9:30 am, 12:05 pm, 3 pm, 5:20 pm, 7:55 pm, 10 pm. What about 10 pm? ;) ‘, I asked.

‘Sure, bit isn’t that a bit early. :P ‘

‘then what about 9:30 am? :P’

 ‘okz, so, gn, sdz, subah uthna bhi toh h ;) ‘. And with that she was offline.

8:30 am

Throughout the entire holidays, I never woke up before 10, but that day, my eyes opened at 8:30 though I knew that she must be sleeping now and that there was no plan to watch the movie. But, kehte hn na umeed pr duniya kayam h…

So, I also had ‘umeed’. For hours, I kept waiting at facebook and simultaneously also kept staring at my mobile phone but none of them beeped.

6:00 pm

Finally, as the clock struck six, I left for terrace. 

Well, all day, I also thought about,’ Should I propose her?’ but was still not sure what to do. So, I decided I’ll think about it tomorrow. After all, I still had one more day.

So, I kept waiting at the terrace, clicked some random pics of the buildings around.

An hour passed, but she did not arrive. The sun had already set. I kept waiting for 20 more minutes and then finally I left the terrace. 

11:00 pm

I logged into my fb account and surprisingly, she was already online. So, without wasting any time, I typed, ‘arre, aaj toh bhut intezar krwaya apne :( '

‘I kept waiting for you all day, aap hi lene ni aaye :O ‘, came the reply.

Obviously, she was referring to the movie while I was referring to our daily terrace meets. So, this went on for a while and then I tried to convince her to come to terrace tomorrow.

‘annn…I don’t think I’ll be able to come tomorrow’, she said.

‘arre, for a farewell party? ;) ‘, I said.

So, I tried everything to persuade her to come to the terrace and finally she agreed. So, after this, I switched off my pc and just wished ki kaash wo samajh jaye...

kaash in ankhon mei chhupi tasvir dekh pati tum

kaash in kaano mei gunj rahi awaaz sun pati tum

is dil par likha h sirf tumhara naam

kaash ye baat samajh pati tum...

All night, just one thought was in my mind, 'Should I propose her?'

P.S: 1. Sorry again as this one too took time.

        2. As usual, your comments, likes and reviews are warmly welcome.

        3. Please give your views on 'Should I propose her?' 

separated or bound to be together?

 Day 3 continues.. 

'Hi :)', she said. 

Well, it had been more than four hours after that 'perfect' evening ended( I hope you remember the last episode.. ;) ). The last time I saw her was when she was entering her house after coming back from the terrace. Ever since I had just been thinking about her. As usual I was online and waiting for her. Then the chat msg popped out.

'Hi :)', she said.

Even this smiley reminded me of her 'smile'. I know I have been referring to her smile a lot but sorry I am just too obsessed with those 'curves' on her lips. :D

'hey... :) ', I replied.

'so, how many people on chat list? ;)', her usual question.

'around 30-35 :D' 

'and how many are you chatting with?'

'4', my usual reply but as usual I was talking only to her.

That chat lasted for next two hours covering topics from the 'chipkali' on her wall to college, profession, studies to relationships. And then finally... 

'feeling sleepy now, good nite, sweet dreams.. :)', she said.

'hey...when are you leaving for college?', I asked.

And then I realized that all this while I had forgotten a very important fact that she was leaving the city in 3 days!!

'monday', came the reply. It was already Friday morning.

So, after bit more chatting, she finally went to sleep and whole night only one thought ran in my mind, "Should I propose her?"

I thought of all the times I was with her( though we had just met thrice! ). I tried to figure out whether it would be okay to propose her as she was going to leave her family, her home after 3 days!

Well, when are talking to a girl for hours everyday, then, you surely are in love. But, remember, its 'YOU' who is in love, the girl may or may not be!

Finally, as I could see the sun rise, I thought probably I should catch some sleep now and decided to think about it the next day.

Day 4

On friday evening, I again went to the terrace quite early though. I was waiting for her to arrive. I was a bit nervous. I still hadn't decided anything for the proposal yet. After listening to 'phir mohabbat' for about 15 times, she finally appeared. In black top, blue jeans and white slippers! Well, if you are thinking to propose a girl, then, probably, its better to note the length of 'heels', she is wearing. ;)

'Does she like me?', I thought as though I was waiting for her but still seeing her there was a surprise! Though this wasn't a preplanned meeting, but still from her expression, it was looking like she was expecting me to be on terrace. 

those eyes searching for someone

those lips trying to say something

and those ears probably wanted to hear something..

On seeing her, for once, I was lost. Prolly, she did say something like 'hi' but I was already lost. Lost in the cold embrace of the wind, in those last rays of the sun and in the blue color of the sky!

So, after the sunset, and after the color of the sky changed from blue to black, we left.

That night I waited for her but she didn't come online. :(
Whole night I just kept thinking- Can we be together ever?

aaj hi toh karni thi unse kuch zaruri baat

halanki thodi der pehle hi hui thi mulakat

unhone kuch aise jadu h humpr chalaya

unke har andaaz ne is kadar h dil ko lubhaya

ki hum hi jaante hn ki unhone kitna h hume tarsaya

aaj na sahi par shayad bat ho jaye apse kal

agar humse kat paye ye intezar k pal..

P.S: 1. First of all, sorry, this one took some time. But, since you all are also in college, then, probably you'll understand my condition. :)
       2. Secondly, thank you for staying tuned. :)
       3. The last few lines of the post are just a modified version of my own creation- 'ye intezar k pal'.
       4. Probably, if you scroll down the blog, then, you may find the original version.:)
       5. As usual, your comments, reviews and 'likes' are warmly welcomed. :)
       6. And I hope, all of you understand Hindi. ;)

the first time when we were together..

Day 2

Well, after talking till 4 am with a girl, how can someone sleep? So, after trying as hard as possible to sleep, trying not to think of her too much, I finally went to sleep. Again, I woke up late. Anyways, yesterday, we had decided that we will play tt today but the time was not decided. I was excited but at the same time, I was also worried as if she didn’t come on fb today, then how will the time be decided. Since I didn’t want to take any risk, so, I was online the whole day. Finally, it was around 4, that she was online again. Without wasting any time, I started the conversation with the usual ‘hi’.

‘hii, so what time did u sleep last night?’, came the reply.

‘You ask what time did I sleep?? I was awake the whole night because of u miss!!’, I thought but tt was the first priority at this time, so without wasting any time, I replied,’ around 4 as usual ;)‘ and also added, ‘ so, time decided?’

‘annn…actually, I couldn’t find the rackets :( ’, she said.

'oh fish! Does that mean she doesn’t wanna play or is she telling the truth?’, all such thoughts started running in my mind and then she further added ,’actually I’ll try once more, and if I find them, then I’ll tell you.’

‘okay’, I said and prayed to God to help her find the rackets. In fact, I even offered God some bribe ;) .

‘But, how will I tell you?’, she asked.

I thought this is the best time to give her my phone no, so, I said ,’ann..if you find them, then msg me at 84********.’

‘okay’, she said and further added,' i gtg now...catch u later..bye tc :) ' and then she was offline.

I also logged out and took my phone in my hand and for the next hour or so, I just kept staring at it. An hour passed but still no message from her side. In that one hour, I received around 3 messages. Each time my phone beeped, my heart beat started to rise but only to find out that whether it was from some property dealer or about some service provided by my service provider. I was starting to lose hope now. I tried cracking some deals with God. And then, finally my phone beeped again. I just hoped that maybe this was the one that I had been expecting. I opened it and it read-

     hii, I m standing near tt table, u also come here- Ridhima

I thanked God for the message. I then saved the no first and then replied –

    Hi, I will be there in a moment :) 

And after typing this, I just rushed out of my house. As I arrived near the tt table, I saw her with two rackets in her hand, looking as beautiful as always. We played for about 40 minutes. This was the first time that we two were together away from the eyes of ‘other people’.

That night again, she was online. So, we chatted a bit. And after she went offline, I closed my pc, took out my phone and kept staring at the recent entry in my phone book and while just staring at that contact, I don’t know when I was asleep.

Day 3

Whole day just passed in her thoughts. But since there was no plan to play tt, so, there was no way to meet her today. I had been trying hard to recall the whole conversation between us over that tt table searching for hints.

At around 6 pm, I headed towards the terrace. As I stepped on the terrace, I was shocked, amazed and surprised! She was standing there! For a moment I thought that I am hallucinating. Then, she noticed me (probably she was surprised too). With her ‘killing’ smile, she asked,’ arre! Aap yahan?’  

Then I realised, ‘oh! This is not a dream :D ‘.  So, I again thanked God for the help and then, sounding casual, I replied,’ annn…aapne kal kaha tha na ki chhat par hawa achhi chalti h, toh maine socha aaj hum bhi feel karein..’

She laughed on hearing that. ‘kafi friends hain aapke, raat ko 4 baje tak chatting chalti h’, she said with a hint of sarcasm.

‘Once you enter college, your friend list will be twice than mine’, I thought. Anyways I said, ‘ hmm, your friendlist will also expand on entering college'.

‘koi girlfriend bhi h kya?’, she asked.

‘looks like she is in good mood today’, I thought. ‘No, do you have a boyfriend?’, I asked.

‘Nopes, so have you proposed someone till date?’

‘Ann..yeah, once proposed’

‘so, what was the reply?’

‘a slap’

She burst into laughter on hearing that. ‘So, have you proposed anyone?’ I asked though I knew that she must have received a dozen proposals till date.

‘Nah..girls don’t propose’, she said sarcastically.

‘Ankur beta! I think it would be better if you start your preparations for proposing her, quickly’, I thought.

And then for the next hour, we walked on the terrace and talked. I just don’t have words for that hour or for that evening. With cold air blowing her ‘dupatta’ again and again, cloudy sky, and sun just about to set and on top of that, her company just made it a perfect evening.  And, occasionally when she tucked the locks of her hair behind her ear by her fingers, I was like ‘maar hi daalengi ye toh!!’

P.S: 1. I hope this was better than the last one.
       2. Thank you for your comments and likes.

       3. Any comments, suggestions, reviews and 'likes' are warmly welcomed. ;)